My First Goon Squad Post

Excerpt from the 2020s portion of A Visit From The Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan:

"No one says 'viral' anymore," Lulu said. "I mean, maybe thoughtlessly, the way we still say 'connect' and 'transmit'--those old mechanical metaphors that have nothing to do with how information travels. See, reach isn't describable in terms of cause and effect anymore: it's simultaneous. It's faster than the speed of light, that's actually been measured. So now we study particle physics."

The above passage from page 257 makes my head spin and hurt. Lulu, the young assistant versed in the new kind of marketing taking place in the book, lives in a totally different cultural/technological (by "/" I hope to also mean they're merging) moment than I think I'll ever be able to live in. So if I don't think I will be able to keep up forever, do I think that I'll be able to survive in that world?

The answer is: yes. In the future we'll be able to survive without being totally up-to-date with technology. The world has worked like that since the beginning of civilization: not everybody is living in the same age. What stopped us before was connection. Now we're all connected, but the actual technology is now just moving at such breakneck speed. The ages themselves will be come more quickly than ever before. So part of the future is going to be people willfully living in different technological cultures because they don't want to have to keep up, and it being possible for everyone to exist on a certain "base level" one, and some people will prefer to use more, some people less, etc., with different sort of socio-economic hopes/norms in each category. Or just technology will so wholly swallow and engulf culture that culture becomes constantly trading in lifestyle and Way of Thinking for a new one every few years. A world Dominated By Fad.

Teenage Leaps

The scene: the Internet. The highest-rated comment on Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" video: "Thumbs up if u want to be young forever" from halo3freakkk... he posted it 7 hours ago and it has 101 thumbs up at the moment.

I, for one, do not want to be young forever. I hope--number 1--to lose all of my hair on the top of my head so I don't have this weird tuft in the front that looks like a closely-sheared Koosh ball half-pokin' outta my forehead. Then, immediately then, I will grow the still-there sides out long because it's still thick and I'm bettin' it'll stay thick and maybe get cool and white if I look at enough scary masks in my lifetime.

Number 2--I wanna be a ephemera-kickin' adult with sweet bitter life lessons under and over my belt and experience cryin' and gettin' wiped-out upon by the Wave Pool Of Expectations so that my brain wires itself into looking at everything in a Cruising Above Perspective. Take some leaps that don't work out. Hit some bad ramps. Who wants to be Forever Potential? Who wants to be a ball at x height in a physics textbook word problem?

Without any further ado, Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream," a song I truly like, even if "No regrets, just love" is a lyric I would never want my young daughter to take to heart while thickly sitting with her conniving and clueless boyfriend:

I'm Smelling My Records

Look, everyone: I'm selling my records. I'm not too happy/proud of this, but I am making a movement toward a lighter lifestyle (i.e. only bogged down by hundreds of books).

I’ve spent a quite a few hours self-negotiating prices on these slabs, and I think I’ve come up with some numbers that are quite fair and generous to you the acquirer. Also--everything is unscratched and plays perfectly. The covers are either immaculate or have the sort of minor wear that shouldn't bother anyone and if it does, I mean, really? But if you have any questions about condition, or if you see something you really like and want to haggle price—or you want to put a few records in a package deal—please feel free to shoot me an email at...

matt.bryan.weir [at] gmail [dot] com

That’s also where we’ll work out shipping and handling, your order, whether we’re using paypal or telepathic cash, etc.

Enjoy my records. Twelve-inchers (aka records) listed first and then seven-inchers. They’re all lined up and waiting for you. Why don't you join them?

TWELVE-INCHERS (FROM NOW ON CALLED RECORDS)

BARGAIN RECORDS… SOME ARE COOL NOVELTY AND COMEDY RECORDS, SOME I DON’T KNOW HOW I ACQUIRED THEM ($5)

Buryl Red – “It’s Cool In the Furnace” [Word]

Eddie Murphy – “s/t” [Columbia]

Kermit Schafer – “Pardon My Blooper Vol. 1” [Jubilee]

The National – “Boxer” [Beggars Banquet]

Rodney Dangerfield – “No Respect” [Casablanca]

Sam Vine – “Stop Smoking with America’s Leading Hypnotist” [self-released]

DRONE AND/OR EXPERIMENTAL RECORDS (various prices)

Ashtray Navigations – “Use Copenhagen 69 Guitars and Park Drive Circular Effects Pedals Exclusively” [Siltbreeze] $8

Black Dice – “Beaches and Canyons” [DFA] 2xLP $15

Black Dice – “Cone Toaster” [DFA] $10

Hair Police – “Prescribed Burning” [Hospital] $8

Infinite Body – “A Series of False Awakenings” [Arbor] $6

Menstruation Sisters – “Samantha (My Wack Panther)” [Ecstatic Peace!] $6

Mouthus / Cousins of Reggae – “split” [Our Mouth] $9

My Cat is an Alien – “Greetings From the Great Void” [Eclipse] 2xLP $13

Portland Bike Ensemble - “s/t” [Olde English Spelling Bee] $10

Social Junk – “Concussion Summer” [Not Not Fun] $8

Tangerine Dream – “Encore” [Virgin] 2xLP $10

Windy and Carl – “Consciousness” [Kranky] $7

ROCK—YOU KNOW, IN THAT GENERAL “ROCK” SENSE THAT INCLUDES KRAFTWERK—RECORDS

Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti – “The Doldrums” [Paw Tracks] $8

Axemen – “Big Cheap Motel” [Siltbreeze] 2xLP $15

The Bad Trips – “s/t” [Rocketship] $11

Beach Boys – “Wild Honey” [Capitol] $10

Blank Dogs – “On Two Sides” [Troubleman Unlimited] $8

Blondie – “Parallel Lines” [Chrysalis] $8

Car Commercials – “Eric’s Diary” [Soft Abuse] $12

Car Commercials – “Judy’s Dust” [Cenotaph] $12

Cold Cave – “The Trees Grew Emotions and Died” [Dais] $11

Comets on Fire – “Blue Cathedral” [Sub Pop] $8

Creedence Clearwater Revival – “The Royal Albert Hall Concert” [Fantasy] $6

Daryl Hall and John Oates – “Private Eyes” [RCA] $6

Dead at 24 – “Blast Off Motherfucker!” [Ride the Snake] $10

Dead Meadow – “Feathers” [Matador] 2xLP $14

Dimples – “Council Bluffs” [Holy Smoke] $10

Devo – “New Traditionalists” [Warner Bros.] $8

Eat Skull – “Wild and Outside” [Siltbreeze] $8

The Electric Bunnies – “Through the Magical Door” [Florida’s Dying] $10

Ex-Cocaine – “Keep America Mellow” [Killertree] $10

The Fall – “Your Future Our Clutter” [Domino] 2xLP $15

Gary War – “New Raytheonport” [SHDWPLY] $8

Hospitals – “Hairdryer Peace” [self-released] $12

Hospitals – “s/t” [In the Red] $8

Impractical Cockpit – “Poverty is Violence” [Trd Wld] $8

Kraftwerk – “Autobahn” [Vertigo] $10

Kraftwerk – “Radio-activity” [Capitol] $10

Kraftwerk – “The Man-Machine” [Capitol] $10

Kraftwerk – “Tour De France Soundtracks” [Kling Klang] 2xLP $15

Kraftwerk – “Trans-Europe Express” [Capitol] $10

Lightning Bolt – “Wonderful Rainbow” [Load] $8

Little Claw – “Human Taste” [Not Not Fun] $10

Los Llamarada – “The Exploding Now!” [S-S] $10

Magik Markers – “Feel the Crayon” [Not Not Fun] $8

Magik Markers – “The Voloder Dance” [Latitidues] $8

Mi Ami – “Ark of the Covenant” [Lovers Rock] $8

Mi Ami – ‘Echononecho b/w Version” [Quarterstick] $8

Mi Ami – “Watersports” [Quarterstick] $8

Mincemeat or Tenspeed / Drums Like Machine Guns – “split” [Badmaster] $8

Neil Young – “Trans” [Geffen] $8

Neil Young & Crazy Horse– “Rust Never Sleeps” [Reprise] $6

Nerve City – “Sleepwalker EP” [Sacred Bones] $9

Peaking Lights – “Imaginary Falcons” [Night People] $10

Pissed Jeans – “Shallow” [Parts Unknown] $10

Psychedelic Horseshit – “Magic Flowers Droned” [Siltbreeze] $10

Slasher Risk – “Triple Jesus” [Kass/Jamps] $12

Warmer Milks – “Radish on Light” [Troubleman Unlimited] $10

SEVEN-INCHERS (FROM NOW ON CALLED SEVEN-INCHERS)

BARGAIN SEVEN-INCHERS… SOME OF THESE I REALLY LIKE, SOME I’M NOT EVEN SURE HOW I ACQUIRED THEM ($1)

The Coathangers – “Never Wanted You” [die Slaughterhaus]

The Great Brain – “Satan Superman” [Sonic Swirl]

Lil Pocketknife / Barr – “split” [Deathbombarc]

Mantis – “Who Wants To Be a Camel?” [Drag City]

Sexy Prison – “Bury My Heart at Vladivostok” [Omnibus] ++clear vinyl++

Stapled Shut / Lack of Interest – “split” [Deep Six]

V3 – “Russian Roulette (Chinese Style)” [Birdman]

Vitapup – “I Need It b/w Fuck My Head” [Mute]

DRONE AND/OR EXPERIMENTAL NOISE SEVEN-INCHERS

Ashtray Navigations – “Some Cat Lost In His Own Picture” […Aesthete Kitty] $3

Fat Worm of Error – “Feelin’ Fine” [self-released] $5

GHQ / Ex-Cocaine – “split” [Not Not Fun… part of Bored Fortress] $3

Hurray – “Hands” [Skul] $3

Taiwan Deth / Unicorn Hard-On – “split” [Ijustlivehere] $2

ROCK—IN THAT GENERAL “ROCK” SENSE—SEVEN-INCHERS

The Beets – “Don’t Fit In My Head” [Captured Tracks] $6

Blank Dogs – “In a Web” [Daggerman] $6

Chris Knox – “Songs From 1990” [Caroline] $3

Cold Cave – “Painted Nails” [Hospital] $6

Comet Gain – “Holloway Sweethearts EP” [Soul Static Sound] $3

The Dead C – “Factory” [Sub Pop] $3

Heavy Winged / Blues Control – “split” [Not Not Fun… part of Bored Fortress] $4

Little Claw – “Race To The Bottom b/w Feeding You” [Siltbreeze] $5

Los Llamarada – “Against The Day” [Avant!] $6

Major Stars – “Portable Freak Factory b/w Can You See Me?” [Important] $3

Oneida – “Heads Ain’t Ready” [These Are Not] $5

Pink Reason – “Throw It Away” [Criminal IQ] $6

Pink Reason – “Winona” [Woodsist] ++clear blue vinyl++ $6

Pissed Jeans – “Don’t Need Smoke To Make Myself Disappear” [Sub Pop] $6

Pop. 1280 – “Bedbugs b/w Times Square” [self-released] $5

Psychedelic Horseshit – “Who Let the Dogs Out?” [Columbus Discount] $6

RTFO Bandwagon – “New Jack” [Dull Knife] $6

Super Vacations – “Henry” [SHDWPLY] $6

Times New Viking / Axemen – “tour split” [300% / Sleek Bott NZ] $6

Wingtip Sloat – “Half Past I’ve Got” [VHF] 2x7” $5